Cardboard Parallax

Today, my astronomy lab attempted to use parallax. With cardboard. My astronomy lab is truly a comedy of errors, and you should all have the utmost respect for our poor Romanian grad student (PRGS), who has to put up with us.

PRGS: *fiddling with cardboard parallax thingy* It is supposed to light up, but it does not work.
Guy: This is kind of bootleg.
PRGS: Yes, I know. But we make do, eh?
Note around hole in cardboard parallax thingy: "This hole has no parallax purpose"

PRGS: Does anyone know what a parsec is? Anybody?
Guy in back: Oh, they say that on Star Wars!
PRGS: *blink, blink* Um, yes. But do you know what it is?

Then, the calculations:

Vampy: I've got a problem.
PRGS: Multiply by the kilometers in one astronomical unit.
Vampy: Yes, I get that. I still have a problem.
PRGS: *sigh* What is it?
Vampy: My calculator doesn't go that high.
PRGS: *blink, blink* *sigh* Here, use mine.

Vampy: *hands another girl the calculator, with the answer still displayed*
Other Girl: *hits clear*
Vampy: You dumbass!
Other Girl: ...oops.

Later...

Vampy: Okay, so you divide that number by that number, and that's the answer.
PRGS: Yes.
(One of the numbers has a factor of twelve, the other a factor of thirteen. Bugger that.)
Vampy: Is it...fifty?
PRGS: *headdesk*
Vampy: I CAN'T MATH!