I See Stupid People...

[sadlikeknives]

They're everywhere...they don't know they're dumb.

Remember how I said there was no way anyone could mistake the relationship between Alexander and Hephaistion? I hate being proven wrong.

I seem to have a fondness for script format these days. Hmm.

Scene: An Art History classroom, not far from here, earlier this afternoon. Several students are waiting for the class to begin. Behind our heroine sit three sorority girls, who we'll call S1, S2, and S3. Last night, S1 and S2 apparently went to see Alexander.

S3: So, how was it?
Vampy: *is listening with about half an ear because, Alexander*
S1: It was pretty good. Jared Leto's hot, but there was some weird kind of vibe going on with him and Colin Farrell. He seemed a little obsessed.
Vampy's Brain: ...omgwtf?
S2: Yeah, what was that all about? Were they like, cousins or something?
Vampy: Oh my GOD!
Most of the class: *turns, looks, decides it's not important and goes about their business*
S2: Do you know what was going on?
Vampy: Well, I'm kind of a geek. And lover of Hephaistion. So yes.
S1: Who?
Vampy: *sigh* Jared Leto.
All S's: Ohhhh.
Vampy: Jared Leto and Colin Farrell were in love. And Jared Leto was afraid he was going to lose Alexander to one of his many hangers-on or possibly Roxane, so, yeah, little possessive.
S3: But they're men!
Vampy: Yeah, well, things were different then.
S1: I thought he loved Rosario Dawson.
Vampy: No, she was a political decision. A rather sketchy political decision, but still.
S2: *the light is dawning* Oh. OH!
Vampy: Yes.
S2: *turns to S1* Remember, that thing about little Jared Leto and his thighs? (Vampy's Brain: !!!) And the ring? And how we couldn't figure out why he'd think Roxane wanted Jared Leto dead? It makes so much more sense if they were in love!
S1: Well, yeah, I guess, but then why didn't they kiss?
Vampy: *bitter* Because apparently American mainstream audiences aren't ready to see two men show real affection. But at least we got the Pausanias kiss.
S1: Who?
Vampy: The guy who killed Alexander's father? He was a former lover of Phillip's, who got raped by Attalus--that old guy Alexander was mad at in the banquet scene--and his men, and Phillip wouldn't give him justice 'cause it wasn't politically sound. So he killed him, which makes sense to me. Oh, and Bagoas.
S2: *suspiciously* Are you a history major?
Vampy. No. Just a geek.
S2: Oh. Okay, then.

Comments

[teleute12.livejournal.com]

Hee!

I am crampy owowow kill me please?

[teleute12.livejournal.com]

Also: Shoebox updated. So you can't say I didn't tell you.

[vampychick.livejournal.com]

I cannot kill you, but I can offer chocolate!

[vampychick.livejournal.com]

I'd already noticed. Ergo, you're still guilty of not telling me. Boo.

[teleute12.livejournal.com]

There's an idea. Mmm, chocolate.

[teleute12.livejournal.com]

It's your own fault for not being online when I was this morning, so boo to you too.

[vampychick.livejournal.com]

I was in class!

[teleute12.livejournal.com]

So was I!

[vampychick.livejournal.com]

But unlike your class, my class does not have computers! Rather, it has an Australian, or a Russian, depending on which class I was in.

[vampychick.livejournal.com]

*offers Hershey bar*

[teleute12.livejournal.com]

Well I can't help it if your claases suck like that.

[teleute12.livejournal.com]

Ew, Hersheys. I'll pass

[vampychick.livejournal.com]

My classes do not suck.

My classes have accents.

Also, my whole way of thinking about AO Neville changed today, so there.

[vampychick.livejournal.com]

...

You scare me.

[teleute12.livejournal.com]

I like chocolate! It's just that Hersheys stuff tastes icky.

[teleute12.livejournal.com]

And my classes have computers. All told, I think I'd rather have those.

And what about Neville, now?

[vampychick.livejournal.com]

I say again, you scare me.

What does not taste icky?

[vampychick.livejournal.com]

Bah. Computers. Who needs computers?

besides me?

AO Neville, asshat who came up with the appalling plan of removing Aborignal children from their parents so they could be raised white and marry white people and 'breed out the black' in Australia. As seen in movie Rabbit-Proof Fence. Turns out he was related to John Rolfe, AKA Mr. Pocahontas. His whole 'we can civilize them!' shtick was influenced by the portraits of 'Rebecca' gussied up as an English lady around the family home. I did not know this prior to today.

[teleute12.livejournal.com]

Dark chocolate, semi-sweet chocolate chips, mexican chocolate, Sees in general, Ghiradelli chocolate, chocolate-covered expresso beans... Basically, anything but Hershey. Or white chocolate.

[vampychick.livejournal.com]

Ah, yes, you're from the vaguely bay area. Of course, Ghiradelli (I thought there was another R in there?) is delish, but so's Hershey.

To me, I guess.

[teleute12.livejournal.com]

Watch it, you'll offend the computer gods again with that kind of talk.

Ahh. Well, that's just... lovely.

[teleute12.livejournal.com]

That reminds me, I have some Ghirardelli chocolate chips downstairs in the fridge. That may be worth moving for.

[vampychick.livejournal.com]

Dude, I would move for Ghirardelli chocolate cookies, and I'm not even premenstrual. Just lazy.

[vampychick.livejournal.com]

No! No! I can't afford that!

Here, computer gods, what do you want? Money? It's yours! Here, you want the cat? He's yours! He's being really annoying anyway.

Yes. One of history's greater asshats. Of course, with a name like Auber Octavius Neville, he was doomed from the beginning.

[teleute12.livejournal.com]

I have hot chocolate!