but don't be sad like knives

Hello, dear Yulethor!

AO3 user sadlikeknives here, really excited to find out what you're going to write for me! I'm sure it's going to be great.

There are obviously spoilers throughout this letter, but there's one mild spoiler for a piece of Benjamin January canon that isn't out most places yet that's highlight to read.

Basic likes: I strongly prefer third person prose. I've requested all slash pairings this year, and half of them are canon pairings, and a third might as well be, so I would really prefer at least slashy subtext/preslash. I'm fine with either porn or no porn. As you are quickly going to discover, I am apparently really into werewolves and cowboys this year. I like soulmate AUs, but I'm kind of picky about what kind: mostly I like soulbonds, and the kind with soulmate-identifying marks like names or 'first words.' I like pining, hurt/comfort, people using other people's prejudices and expectations of them to their own advantage, loyalty kink, competence kink, scars, and sexy-type biting and bloodplay, especially in vampire-related contexts and possibly for some of the werewolves. And if you want to write wintery, Christmasy fic (or other-winter-holiday fic, since at least two of these characters are probably not Christian) I'm totally into that for any of these fandoms!

DNWs: bestiality, scat, watersports, cannibalism, noncon, dubcon, omegaverse, aka a/b/o, or any other type of mpreg.

Additionally, I have a powerful embarrassment squick; seeing characters embarrassed, especially socially, or behaving in an embarrassing way without being aware of it where it's played for audience laughs really upsets me. And please no animal harm or major character death outside of addressing those that happen in canon if/when necessary. Also, I would prefer no unrequested crossovers or AUs.

Benjamin January mysteries – Barbara Hambly
Abishag Shaw, Benjamin January

What It Is: A series of mystery novels set in 1830s New Orleans, starring Benjamin January, a free man of color, Paris-trained surgeon, professional pianist, and sometime amateur detective. There are fifteen books and five short stories in the series so far, though book fifteen, Murder in July, is, I believe, currently only available in the UK. I've already read it thanks to a wonderful friend, so if you've read it too, know I'm up to date and you don't have to worry about spoilers, but if you haven't read it, then don't worry about it.

What I Love About It: You remember waaaaaaaaaay back at the end of A Free Man of Color when Shaw's standing by Ben's table at the Place des Armes Because Society and Ben's like, "Or you could sit the fuck down one of these days?" Gentle Yulethor, I shipped it then, and I ship it still. I just want to shove them together like a couple of really tall Ken dolls and go, "NOW KISS." I love how they navigate their godawful society's expectations and restrictions, how they often communicate via what's not said. I love how tentative Ben has always been to trust Shaw, in the face of evidence that Shaw is All In on trusting Ben, and then how in Murder in July Ben realizes Shaw would march off to assassinate the Queen of England if he asked him to. I love how committed to justice they both are, and how they recognize that's different from the rule of law, and their mutual frustration with society's preference for a tidy resolution over true justice being done. I love how respectful they both are of the other's skills, and how they both use other people's expectations of their behavior. In short, I love them, and I want more of them.

Quick note: I have to confess, I'm shallow. I generally picture Shaw as more, you know, sexy scruffy (like, Hollywood historical scruffy) than with the level of hygiene, if one can even call it that, described in the books, because seriously, he's an intelligent man, he knows what soap is for, why will he not use it?? It's not cute. So, like, if you could steer away from descriptions where he is as unpleasant as in canon, I would greatly appreciate that.

Second note: This is the one canon I've requested where one of the characters has a different canon SO, and I'm really not into straight up infidelity/cheating. You could set your fic before Ben met Rose, or handwave the whole relationship away/platonic, or have Rose be really open-minded because she's Rose, but please: no cheating

Prompts
1. We never get inside anybody but Ben's head, so Shaw's side of the story for one of their adventures could be a thing.
2. Possibly Shaw could be pining after Ben. I feel like this makes a lot of narrative sense. Like, he knows it's useless and never gonna happen and probably beats himself up over it, but ooooh that commitment to justice and all that expertise, so sexy. (And then maybe it does happen? Or maybe at least one of the other characters notices and is like, "Wow, that's rough, buddy?")
3. The two of them could investigate something new! Who's dead, in the middle of a scandal, or robbed blind this week? Which combination of medical, musical, tracking, and marksmanship expertise saves the day?
4. Concept: Abishag 'what is bathing, and also, I can track you through a hurricane' Shaw is a werewolf. (And just maybe Hannibal is a vampire?) Ben finds out (Silver allergy? Something connected to a case?). He's intrigued. Olympe knew all along. Possibly, together they fight supernatural crime.
5. While so much of these books is in the setting, modern New Orleans is pretty atmospheric, too, no? Picture it: Shaw's still a cop, Ben's a surgeon who moonlights in a jazz band. Together, they solve crimes. And maybe make out.
6. "It's just until we get back from Colorado." (Or is it?)
7. Something involving loyalty kink.

Magnificent Seven (2016)
Billy Rocks, Goodnight Robicheaux

What It Is: A Western movie, being a remake of the 1960 film of the same name, which was of course itself an adaptation of The Seven Samurai. Not to be mistaken for the 1990s TV series of the same name, although that canon is a guilty pleasure of mine.

What I Love About It: One of my bffs saw this movie before me and was like, "You have to come see it with me, you're going to love it," and she was right, I love everyone in this bar, and am fine with everyone in this bar being in my fic, or not, but I want to focus on Goody and Billy. I love how everyone goes from mostly strangers to basically family in a week, and how everyone has their own skills and their own damage to bring to the table. I love all the history that's only hinted at between Sam and Goody, and the utter mystery that is Billy Rocks. I love how MARRIED Billy and Goody are, like, one can't even live without the other.

Prompts
1. Okay you know the scene where Red Harvest and Jack show up and Goody wakes up because he smelled blood? From my other requests you should probably be able to figure out where I'm going with this: what if Goody's a werewolf? (Sam could also be a werewolf, he woke up too.) (I swear I didn't set out to turn everyone into a werewolf in this letter. It just sort of worked out that way.)
2. We saw Goody's goodbye to Sam before he left Rose Creek but it's fairly obvious from how dedicated Billy has suddenly become to drinking the entire bar that he said goodbye to him, too, and Billy consciously chose to stay behind. Write me that incredibly agonizing parting. Why did Billy decide to stay?
3. Are you familiar with the 90s TV series of The Magnificent Seven? If not, I congratulate you; if so, I feel like a crossover could be really interesting (in a universe where everyone lives). Faraday and Ezra cheating each other at cards! Josiah attempting to speak Chinese at Billy (who is not even Chinese)! Everyone boggling at JD and his milk-drinking ways! A sex scene in Four Corners' incredibly well-appointed public bathhouse!

Alternatively, in the finest tradition of said fandom, you could write a fic where this Seven is an ATF task force.
4. Billy meets Goody's family o' swamp rats, because, the man hissed like an actual possum, he can wear as many fleurs de lis as he wants and quote as much philosophy as he likes, he's still a swamp rat where it counts. This goes better than anybody could have expected.
5. Goody's recounting of how he and Billy met had the air of a tall tale. So how did it really happen? (I have it in mind that possibly, it involved however two guys in the Old West established an interest in carnal companionship, but I'm open to other options.) Or, what are a bunch of ways Goody claimed it happened?
6. EVERYBODY LIVES AND NOTHING HURTS. (Possibly due to lycanthropy? Or not. I'll take anything.) Maybe they stay in Rose Creek and become its new law enforcement a la the TV show, despite two of them being wanted criminals. Maybe they all ride off together and have new adventures. Whatever you want!
7. Something about their time together before meeting up with Sam & Co., scamming fools and dealing with their demons.

Mercy Thompson – Patricia Briggs
Kyle Brooks, Warren Smith

What It Is: An urban fantasy series set in the Tri-Cities area of eastern Washington State, about Mercy Thompson, a coyote shapeshifter, a lot of werewolves, some fae, and assorted vampires. There are ten books in the series so far, as well as four books and a novella in the sister series Alpha and Omega (...not that kind), and several short stories. As far as I know, I'm up to date, unless another short story has been released recently. There's a lot of sexism and homophobia baked into werewolf culture in this universe, which is obviously not great Bob, but a lot of the series is about unlearning or throwing that stuff out and changing the rules to be better and more modern, and those elements I do enjoy.

What I Love About It: So after I read Silence Fallen this spring I embarked on a massive reread project of this entire series and was reminded of how much I have always loved Warren and Kyle. Like, on paper, they don't work: a hundred and fifty year old Texas cowboy werewolf who works at a gas station and a human, Ivy League educated lawyer. And they both know that. And it doesn't matter. I love Kyle's ridiculous marble statues, and his vanity and the chip on his shoulder, and the way Warren loves those things too and sees Kyle's good heart. I love how easygoing and Texan Warren is, and all the pain and violence that's simmering away under the surface, and how Kyle doesn't care about all of the werewolf shit, he just loves him—and how Kyle, as he says in the short story "In Red, with Pearls," is his own kind of predator, and that just because he eviscerates his prey in court, not, you know, literally, doesn't mean he can't understand Warren's wolf.

Prompts
1. There's like seven or eight rough months for Warren and Kyle between Moon Called and Blood Bound that we know very little about, and I'm really interested in this period—the pining and the draw that kept them coming back to each other (Were they sleeping together at any point in this period? That must have been really bittersweet) and saw Kyle hiring Warren, especially, but also how the 'so, werewolves' conversations went (and the fights, you know there were fights).
2. I'm very into Domesticity With Werewolves, apparently, so give me some of that. Maybe make Kyle go camping, since Warren's been trying to get him to for at least three books now, but any sort of domestic cozy shit I'll eat up with a spoon.
3. Concept: Kyle gets turned into a werewolf. I feel like he'd probably be pretty good at it. How does that happen? How does that affect the pack structure? How many bed frames do he and Warren break while Kyle is learning his new strength?
4. In Frost Burned, Kyle reveals that his mating bond with Warren is starting to be two-way, but, being human, he just thought he was going crazy. And then we never really hear about that again. So: how does that psychic bond work for a human? Do he and Warren have enough control over it for it to be useful? Does it have sexytimes applications?
5. Soulmates AU! One would think being soulmates would solve a lot of the early angst of their relationship, but who knows. Maybe there are complications. A few ways you can go with this:
A) First words or names. Word of God has it that Warren and Kyle met at a mutual friend's party, and so I have it in mind that Warren has some kind of silly, cowboy-related pickup line scrawled across some part of his body. Or with names, 'Warren' is kind of an old-fashioned name, and he probably has old-fashioned penmanship to go with it, so Kyle always assumed he'd be a lot older. Or maybe Kyle has such ungodly bad penmanship Warren's never been able to read his beyond, 'I'm pretty sure it starts with a K.'
B) The kind where you share your soulmate's injuries. Or even just their scars, because considering we know Warren's pre-pack life was often violent, the first way would probably lead to Kyle's early death (or at least frequent hospitalization/probably coming to the attention of the werewolves earlier). Even just sharing scars with a loner werewolf would probably be a really interesting experience.
6. Kyle interacting with some of the pack members we haven't seen deal with him much as he figures out his place as Warren's human mate could be a thing. Like, we know he's friends with Ben and Zack lives at his house, but there are so many other pack members! How did the rest of the pack start showing up for movie night? After his rough start with Darryl, do they start getting along more (we know they both like cooking, and they're both obviously very smart)? Maybe a pack member or someone they know is getting a divorce, and they get to see Kyle in his element. Lots of options, I think.
7. Something involving Warren's century and a half of history as a werewolf cowboy before he met Kyle. Maybe some old enemy pops up. Maybe Kyle learns things through the aforementioned mating bond in his dreams or something. Maybe Kyle randomly finds a daguerrotype in an antique shop and is fucking delighted that Warren used to have that ridiculous mustache. The field is wide open.

Ordinary Magic – Devon Monk
Ben Rossi, Jame Wolfe

What It Is: A contemporary fantasy series set in the small town of Ordinary, Oregon, where the gods go for vacation and various other supernatural beings live under the watchful eye of Delaney Reed, the local police chief. There are three books so far, plus one novella and another coming out in November which I plan to read when it comes out, but if you don't want to incorporate new canon in your story, don't worry about it. Just know that if you do, you won't be spoiling me any.

What I Love About It: I love the concept of Ordinary, a town that's half-mundane and half-really not. I love all the different supernatural beings and especially the gods, and I love the subplot of Jame and Ben. Love them. Like, I started texting my best friend while reading the first scene in which they appear something like, "OMG this book has a vampire and a werewolf and they're firefighters and boyfriends. MY JAM." And then they just kept on being more and more my jam? With the obviously being very much in love, and so very tough, and dealing with their family issues in such a mature way, and then Ben was KIDNAPPED and Jame was BROKEN and their PSYCHIC SOULBOND WAS SEVERED and I spent like half a book reading frantically like "Ben better not be dead!!!!" And then after they were reunited they had to recreate their psychic soulbond through biting and like: *kisses tips of fingers* beautiful. That scene with all the vampires and werewolves getting along and playing cards in Ben's hospital room, while several of the werewolves transfer energy through Jame to Ben, because Well I Guess We're In-Laws Now? LOVE IT. I love these guys and want them to live happily ever after.

That said, I don't really care for Ryder, and therefore, for the main romance plot.. I think he's supposed to read like he thinks he's A Big Bad Fed and the Reeds are small town cops, but...he comes off to me as very mansplainy, and, dude, you didn't know werewolves were real. So I would prefer he be kept to a minimum.

Prompts
1. Vampire/werewolf firefighter domesticity fluff. Or hot porn. Or fluffy porn. I just want them to be happy. Something about, I don't know, grocery or house shopping, or on the job stuff, or just like them really going at it in the bedroom and possibly breaking the bed or like sweet reunion 'I thought I lost you' sex once they're both up for such activities after Gods and Ends. With biting. (What else do they play rock paper scissors to decide?)
2. Speaking of biting, I'm here for it. Intimacy through biting! Sexy biting! The first time being A Huge Freaking Deal You Can't Take Back because of the bond that comes with a vampire's bite in this universe! Becoming so settled in together that Ben can lean across in the truck and take a quick nip! Recovering their bond through biting!
3. Listen, it's rural Oregon, there has to be weed somewhere/everywhere when you're not occupying the police chief's POV. Considering the citizenry of Ordinary, possibly even magic weed.
4. Hurt/comfort with both of them recovering after the third book. Like, obviously Ben's much worse off, but he can tell Jame's not one hundred percent yet. And they're both worried about each other. Possibly fussing over each other until someone gets annoyed, and then they have to deal with that.
5. How did they get together? Like, I assume it was some kind of workplace romance, but the bad blood between their families is pretty serious, and despite the small town setting, like, Greek gods vacation in Ordinary, so it's not like they were each other's only option (although definitely a better option than, say, Zeus' vacation fling). And how did Old Rossi take it when his only son was like, "Yeah, so, I'm in love with a werewolf."
6. Ben's full name is Benoni, is he Jewish? Or, considering it means 'Son of my sorrow,' (as, in fact, Old Rossi addresses him at one point), did Old Rossi rename him for some reason after making him a vampire? Or maybe are both of those things true? If he's Jewish, among other things, does he trade in his beloved french fries for latkes for Hanukkah, and always take the Christmas shift for that sweet, sweet holiday pay?
7. Negotiating their families and all the bad blood between them, and then, after Gods and Ends, dealing with the fact that their families seem to be getting along now, mostly on their behalf, and it's nice but kind of weird. Or maybe something to do with the infamous housewarming party (is that where their succession of fluffy blankets in increasingly ridiculous colors came from?) and what happens when a bunch of werewolves and vampires get drunk in the same house. I imagine many Mexican standoffs were subtly broken up that night.

Crossovers

I feel like there are several ways these four canons could be crossed over, and I'm open to any combination. I read Goody as a swamp rat made good, but he's still from Louisiana, where he could conceivably have run across the Benjamin January crew at some point. Likewise, Warren is from Texas, where Goody and Billy could have been kicking around later on. Granted, the time periods don't quite line up, but by Mercy Thompson rules werewolves are immortal, so that's not so much of a barrier as it could be. Or someone could be quite young or quite elderly when running into someone else. Ben was alive through both historical canons, and we don't know what he was up to, so, you know, anything's possible. And you don't even have to reach very far to cross over Ordinary Magic, with werewolves and vampires (and gods) living in Oregon, and Mercy Thompson, about werewolves (and vampires and fae, and Mercy) living in Washington State. So I'm open to any way you want to run with that, if that's something you're interested in.

Greetings, dearest Yulethor!



Oh, wait. Wrong Yule Thor.

So, hello, AO3 user sadlikeknives here, and we've matched on something great so I'm sure you're awesome and that whatever you write for me will ALSO be awesome.

Basic likes and dislikes: I strongly prefer third person prose, and I'm fine with anything, relationship-dynamic-wise: gen, het, slash, femslash, poly, it's all good! I'm afraid I go blank when listing things I like, though I can say with some certainty that I like shenanigans, happy endings, pets, kids, various flavors of poly, and...chainsaws?

What I would definitely not like to see in my fic would be: bestiality, scat, watersports, cannibalism, noncon, or dubcon. Oh, and omegaverse. Please no omegaverse, aka a/b/o, or any other type of mpreg. I’m also not generally into infidelity. Open relationships are fine, as is the time honored ‘simply not mentioning the canon or RL SOs.’ I have a powerful embarrassment squick; seeing characters embarrassed, especially socially, or behaving in an embarrassing way without being aware of it where it's played for audience laughs really upsets me. And please no character death. There is one fandom where I suggest a few possible AUs, and one where I suggest a crossover, but outside of those exceptions I would prefer no crossovers or AUs.

On to the fandoms!

Benjamin January mysteries – Barbara Hambly
Abishag Shaw, Benjamin January

This is a series of thirteen books and assorted short stories, so if you're considering picking up one of my other fandoms, you might want to set some time aside for this one. That said, they are really excellent books (mystery novels set in 1830s New Orleans, starring a free man of color who is both a surgeon and a musician)! I highly recommend them. My BFF loaded the first six onto my Kindle last summer, I wasn't sure, and then like a month later I started reading them and proceeded to mainline the rest of the series in a couple of weeks, it was great. Very little sleep was had. And then we went to New Orleans for a week. Yeah.

So at the end of A Free Man of Color when Benjamin and Shaw were in the marketplace and Shaw's standing next to Ben's table Because Society and Ben's like, "Or you could sit the fuck down one of these days?" That was when I first wanted to shove these two guys together to make them kiss like a couple of really tall Ken dolls. And then I went to check out the fic situation and found that actually it looked like there was an OT3 situation going on with a character I hadn't met yet, and I came to understand that, but the desire for fic featuring Abishag Shaw has lingered. I love the complex dynamic between these two, stuff like how Ben can't quite bring himself to realize he can trust Shaw even after he does things like stand there blatantly not arresting him during the candlesticks incident in Ran Away. I love how they often communicate through what's not said. I love how Ben and Shaw are both committed to justice in their own ways, and how they are often mutually frustrated by their society's preference for tidiness over true justice, and how Shaw, despite being an officer of the law, is perfectly willing to look the other way when it is Right to do so. And, like, the incredible over the top action heroes climax (Cue the fifteen-foot alligator!) of Wet Grave, how can I not love it? Gentle Yulethor, I want more of these guys.

While I was reading the books I asked my BFF if she ever got the feeling there was another series of awesome detective novels running parallel, featuring the adventures of badass detective Abishag Shaw, and she agreed that yes, and in those books Ben was the guy who popped in occasionally to help solve crimes and be a huge fan favorite, and so Shaw's side of the story for one of their adventures could be a thing (how many words for dumbass was Shaw thinking when Ben popped up at that revival with the candlesticks?), or the two of them investigating something new! Or just the two of them interacting (possibly in a, er, biblical way) either in New Orleans or at some point during The Shirt on His Back. Maybe Shaw could shoot something, he would probably like that.

Side note: Hello, my name is sadlikeknives and I'm shallow. I must confess I generally picture Shaw as more, you know, sexy scruffy (like, Hollywood historical scruffy) than with the level of hygiene, if one can even call it that, described in the books, because seriously, he's an intelligent man, he knows what soap is for, why will he not use it? It's not cute. Also if you could keep any references to chewing tobacco to a minimum I would greatly appreciate it, because it is similarly not cute. Ooh! Maybe you could write a fic where Shaw has to go undercover as A Clean Person (it's the perfect disguise, no one would ever guess it was him) and Ben is like "Whoa you were hiding hotness under all that grime."

The Raven Cycle – Maggie Stiefvater
Blue Sargent, Noah Czerny, Richard Gansey III, Ronan Lynch

The Raven Cycle is a planned quartet of YA novels, of which three, The Raven Cycle, The Dream Thieves, and Blue Lily, Lily Blue have been published and should be readily available at Amazon, bookstores, libraries, etc. They have Welsh mythology and epic quests and boys being boys and psychics and prophecy and boarding school and complicated relationships and friendship and Southernness and class divides and dreams and a pet baby raven named Chainsaw (see above re: loving chainsaws apparently) among other things, and to steal a phrase from one of my other fandoms, como no te voy a querer?

Yuletide won't let you pick five characters, so here's the deal: I would love love love ensemble/OT5 fic about Our Heroes, but if you would like to write something more focused, any one of these four I nominated or permutation of the group is great. (I also love Adam, just...four characters limit, and, well, he frustrates me, so I would not prefer his POV or for him to be the particular focus. Sorry, Adam.)

Some ideas: write me poly! It solves so many problems. (My BFF once described her ideal ship for these novels as 'Gansey/harem, or maybe Blue/harem' and yes, that.) Maybe various people get creative about not kissing Blue, or maybe the other three, not being her One True Love and in Noah's case, of course, being dead, tease Gansey by kissing Blue (this could be either funny or REALLY HOT, yes?). There was a fear going around for a while after the first book that Stiefvater was going to turn Ronan into a tree. You could write that, and the others trying to fix it. (This can be as cracky or serious as you like.) Write about some of the insane/cracky/useful things Ronan found or made in dreams and maybe gave to the others. I particularly enjoy the prickly we-don't-want-to-like-each-other-oh-no-we-like-each-other relationship between Ronan and Blue, so maybe you could write something about that? ROAD TRIP IN THE PIG. Write me anything and I'm sure I'll love it.

A note: I am not really a fan of Ronan/Adam as a self-contained and endgame ship. I think they're very intense in ways that might not necessarily work out in compatible and healthy ways longterm, and that, really, all five of Our Heroes work best as part of the group.

Real Madrid RPF
Cristiano Ronaldo, Kaka

If we matched on something else but you're considering giving one of my other fandoms a try, then by all means yes, come to the Real Madrid side of the force, but I don't expect you to familiarize yourself with a whole new RPF pairing, especially one that is currently separated by career circumstance, for Yuletide. That said, if you're interested or looking to refresh your memory, dorkorific and yeats wrote an excellent primer that can be found here: 1, 2, 3.

So here's the thing: I know this is a really big pairing to be requesting in Yuletide but I am so weak when it comes to them. Dear author: I love them. I love their football. I love how different they were in every apparent way (except being good-looking lusophone teetotaler footballers, which is really quite a few things when you think about it) and yet they just clicked. I love how adorable they were together, and how fierce in defense of one another. I love the juxtaposition of their very different public personas. I love how good Kaka is, while secretly being a little bit of a troll. I love how flashy Cristiano Ronaldo is, while being such a good person, and it is not arrogance if you are 100% correct about how good you are. And I love Real Madrid.

Things I love: Fic about them getting to know each other and becoming friends and then falling for each other. Bittersweet fic about their parting when Kaka left to return to Milan. Future fic where Cris and Kaka get back together and raise their kids and blow the global press's minds. This is one fandom where I am all for AUs, btw. I am as weak for a Criska AU as I am for Criska themselves. You know those soulmate AUs where one person has the other person's name or the first thing they said to them tattooed on them somewhere (and maybe there are Dramatical Complications before they work out they are Meant To Be Together)? Love those. (But please not the kind where people can't see color until they meet their soulmates; it breaks my suspension of disbelief somehow.) AUs where one of them is a supernatural creature or a sexbot (I think we all know who is the sexbot here) or something? All for it. (Bonus points awarded if they are still a footballer while being a supernatural creature or sexbot or something.) AU where one of them is a footballer and the other isn't and they still meet and fall in love? Go for it. I don't mind angst, as long as there is a happy ending of some kind. If you would prefer to write gen about their friendship, I am also down with that! Please don't feel limited, or else overwhelmed. Just about anything will be great.

This is the one fandom where I have a specific kink, which you can incorporate into your fic or not as you see fit: I like the idea of Cris being sexually submissive, in that he seems like he could really benefit from having all of the weight of expectation and perfectionism taken off his shoulders and to let someone else be in charge for a while.

A few quick notes: Given the timeline and certain events, this is one fandom where I can easily see how infidelity might come up. I really don't like to think of Kaka of all people outright cheating, but a past open relationship or some kind of arrangement or understanding during their overlapping Madrid period that got out of hand/meant more than they meant it to/now can be More/whatever, I could totally see. Or I am completely fine with the sort of AU where their respective WAGs just did not exist/were not in their lives. Please no bashing of anyone (except Barcelona or Atleti, bashing them is fine, if you want), especially Cris & Kaka's respective exes.

Actually you can bash Mourinho, too, I'm totally fine with that.

Sense8
Lito Rodriguez

So, if you don't know, Sense8 is a series on Netflix that's one season of twelve episodes thus far, and it is best summarized as: the Wachowskis have gone full fanfic on us. This is a show about eight people around the world who suddenly find themselves in an honest to goodness group soulbond, having to deal with that and their own problems and the shadowy corporation that wants to lobotomize them all For The Good Of The Human Race or something. It's complicated.

So, Lito. I adore Lito. Lito is my favorite. I adore how he is the emotional one, and that his talent is lying, and the struggle he has to not only decide to tell the truth but also to realize that his talent being lying can be a good and useful thing. I love Hernando and Daniela and their weird little family. And he is so good-looking, Yulethor. I am weak like that.

If you just want to write something focusing on Lito, that's great (maybe something introspective or about his acting career somehow?), but it doesn't have to be just about him. Something about him and Hernando or him and Hernando and Daniela would be great; something about the cluster would be amazing. What about another psychic orgy? Or fluffy cluster shenanigans like panglobal movie night (possibly making fun of one of Lito's movies?) or using their bond to share more mundane skills than usual, like "applying makeup" or "cooking"? (Maybe Lito wants to cook dinner for Hernando for once and some of the others help him?)

If you feel up for it, I once had a discussion about how our cluster of sensates has all the makings of a great heist team a la Leverage (which kind of paid out as the season progressed): hitter (Sun), hacker (Nomi), grifter (Lito), thief (Wolfgang), and...uh...well I guess Nomi can also be the mastermind, but then they also have a getaway driver (Capheus), inside man (Will), and chemist/medic (Kala). And Riley. I feel bad for Riley, she's kind of like the Ma-Ti here. Anyway, you don't have to be familiar with Leverage to get what I'm saying here, the point is that some kind of heist fic where everyone gets to use/share their skills again like in Iceland would be AMAZING, and one place where I think that would already be useful would be getting the photos of Hernando and Lito back from Joaquin before he can splash them all over the internet. (Yes, Lito claims not to care, but there's a big difference between 'I don't care if people know we're together' and 'I don't care if photos of us having sex are splashed all over the internet,' and I think it's perfectly reasonable to care about the second even if one is being Brave and Romantic.) Or it could be some other situation, possibly related to BPO. I'm flexible. OR and this is by no means a requirement, by that same token I feel like a crossover with Leverage could be really interesting. Like, picture the Leverage crew getting really confused about which member of the cluster fulfills which role in their "crew," trying to figure out how many members are actually in their crew, that kind of thing. (And then possibly they team up and are temporarily unstoppable?)

Sporting Kansas City RPF
Alex Morgan, Dom Dwyer, Servando Carrasco, Sydney Leroux

Yep, this is another RPF fandom about footballsoccer, except these people are more obscure (Servando Carrasco doesn't even seem to have Twitter wtf).

So here's the deal: On December 31, 2014, college sweethearts and fellow professional footballers Alex Morgan (of the USWNT and Portland Thorns) and Servando Carrasco (of Sporting KC) got married. On February 14, non-college sweethearts and fellow professional footballers Sydney Leroux (then of the Seattle Reign, since traded to Western New York Flash, and also USWNT) and Dom Dwyer (of Sporting KC) revealed that they had eloped in January (they eventually held a big ceremony on October 9). On July 20, 2015, Servando Carrasco was traded to Orlando City, so for six or seven months you had two married couples composed of two members of the USWNT and two members of Sporting KC, and they were all good friends and very good-looking people. What are the odds?

Both these relationships are really interesting because of the dynamics of them all being athletes in the same major sport: Syd and Alex are far more recognizable household names than their husbands, and make more money than them when you factor in sponsorships and whatnot, which is very much not the case when you compare your average male footballer to your average female footballer, even in the US, where the USWNT is probably the most recognized and publicized face of the sport in this country, but the women's league is really struggling while Major League Soccer is established and growing. (And, frankly, while Dom and Serva are both fine footballers, Syd and Alex are better than them.) And, yeah, I don't know, they just fascinate me. It seems so complicated and full of possible commentary about gender and sports, but when you get down to it it's just two young couples in love and making a go of what they love doing.

At some point in the lead up to the Women's World Cup this past summer, I saw an interview in which Alex and Syd were asked about this situation, and they said that they always kind of felt like they should hang out when they were both in Kansas City but at the same time they never did, because they had so little time there and always wanted to spend it with their husbands. And so of course because I'm fandom from way back I thought, "You could solve this with a foursome!" And so, dear Yulethor, please: solve this for me with a foursome. An extremely athletic, attractive foursome. A 'squeezing in a few days together in Kansas City' foursome, or a 'two of us just won the World Cup' victory foursome, maybe (Servando and Dom flew up to Vancouver together for the WWC final, after all, and were super cute about being cheerhusbands throughout). Or you could split the four of them into their non-married halves that nonetheless spent way more time together, and do something with that (stress relief sex? Skype?) If you're not up for writing group sex, I totally get that, and there is so much to explore here really. Some kind of domesticity/double date/actually hanging out together in Kansas City or elsewhere would also be awesome! Or, I am reasonably certain in a vaguely tinhat kind of way that Syd and Dom's elopement was spurred at least in part by the Morgan-Carrasco nuptials (possibly in a, "Hey...why don't WE do that?" kind of thing). I feel like Alex and/or Serva have teased them about this and probably find it really cute. I also feel like if there wasn't one, there should have been a campaign to attempt to convince Dom Dwyer to change his name, as 'Dom Leroux' sounds miles better than 'Sydney Dwyer.' I'm just spitballing here, really, I'll be thrilled with just about anything.

Just in case it comes up I want to note that while Alex Morgan is a huge fan of Barcelona and Leo Messi, I, as you might have figured out from one of my other fandoms, am deeply not.

Dear Yulethor!



( ”...wait” )

I just discovered that there's a hotel in Panama City Beach, Florida that offers a special service where a hotel employee (whoever lost a bet that day, one assumes) dressed as a dolphin comes to your room and tucks your child in at night. Cookies and milk, a souvenir photo, and a special gift included, all for a small fee!

The lifelong fear of dolphins, one assumes, comes gratis.

A week ago I went to the most magical store in Alabama, possibly the universe, Unclaimed Baggage, where all the stuff the airlines lose forever goes to be rehomed. I got, among other nonsense, a great suitcase and some new glasses frames. Except I paid like ten bucks for them, but then I had to have my lenses in them, and my lenses cost an arm and a leg because I'm so blind. I'm still kicking myself for not also buying the five skeins of cashmere yarn I found, and also there was a pair of brand new Manolo Blahniks that weren't my size but I could make them work, but they'd done due diligence on them and they were still $200 (marked down from, as the tag noted, a retail price of $700, but still). I did get a pair of Fendi sunglasses for fifteen bucks, though--even if they were way more after I had tinted prescription lenses put in.

There are also, like, racks and racks of digital cameras and iPods and Kindles. It's insane. Always check the seat pocket before leaving the airplane, oh my God.

Hot tip: if you ever have to fly with, say, your wedding dress, you might want to consider, like, buying a seat for it if you can afford it. Or else your dress might wind up for sale at Unclaimed Baggage instead of on you at your wedding; I saw at least half a dozen and found the thought kind of depressing.

Anyway, back to the glasses. I took them to get my prescription put in when I got home, and today they called me to come pick them up. I got home and was wearing my new glasses around happy as a lark when I got something on one of the lenses and took them off to clean them for the first time...which was also when I noticed the rhinestone detailing for the first time. I know, I'm a little slow. I was excited by the color and shape, what can I say?

Unfortunately, it was also when I noticed half of the rhinestones are missing for the first time. I don't know if they were missing at the store, because God knows what these things went through before they got there, or if they came out when they were putting the new lenses in (I plan to call my optician tomorrow, just in case there are some rhinestones on the floor over there), but I am so annoyed. Especially if they were missing when I bought the damn things and I didn't even notice and blithely went ahead and had crazy-expensive lenses put in.

Long story short: my new glasses? Already busted.

I'm now debating whether anyone else will notice, and, even if they won't, if it bugs me enough to make buying a replacement pair an option worth considering.

Today, when my dad came up for dinner, he complained that our timing could be better, as he was missing the last five minutes of an old show called "Wagon Train." As dinner is ready when it's ready and if he doesn't like it he can learn to cook for himself, my mom and I proceeded to confuse the hell out of him:

Me: Oh, well, I know what happened, anyway.
Dad: You've watched that show?
Me: No, but I know what happened: their ox died.
Dad: They don't have oxen on this show, they just have horses.
Mom: And then they got cholera.
Me: No, it's dysentery. You have died of dysentery. Do they ever have to ford rivers on this show? Because we all know that never goes well.
Mom: You lose fifty pounds of food every damn time.
Me: And all your wagon axles.
Mom: Oh, that's right, I forgot about the axles.
Me: Your wagon just sank.
Mom: And your ox just died.
Dad: *gives us both the baffled look of a man who has never played Oregon Trail*

So in Alabama, we don't know how to deal with snow. We don't know how to deal with an inch of snow, never mind four to ten. Worse, the snow is melting partially during the day and freezing into ice at night, making it supertreacherous. Branches could take out the power lines or trees could take out the house at any time. It's exciting, in a scary kind of way.

Luckily, thus far, the electricity and internets have held out and the house is unsmushed. But we ain't going anywhere. Or, well. That's not entirely true. My dad braved the roads yesterday to take my grandmother to a doctor's appointment. And then she wouldn't let him go to the grocery store. She has sort of weird ideas about him and food--which, you have to understand, my dad is hugely overweight, but she always assumes he's going into the store to buy junk food and nonsense, when really, he had a list of things we were out of (potatoes, carrots, celery, onions, apples, cabbage, mushrooms, spaghetti sauce, barbecue sauce, canned cat food) or perilously close to out of (dry cat food, eggs, coffee), or that needed to be bought to keep the snowed-in peace (brownie mix, a jar of salsa to replace the one I bought for me that my mother cooked something with, because what am I to do with chips and no salsa, I ask you?).

We have about a day's worth of coffee left before the situation becomes critical, and today the outside world is much more icy and, "Yeah we're not risking it," than it was yesterday. We have enough food in this house that we could hold out for a month if we had to, but I don't think any of us would be terribly happy about it once the coffee runs out. And no one would be happy about it once the cat food ran out. Sigh.

So every year I try, unofficially, quietly, to do NaNo, and it never works out. This year, I will be skipping entirely, but for good reason. A couple of days into October (I don't remember the exact day, but it may have been the third or fourth), I started writing a novel. At about four o'clock this morning, after trying and failing to sleep and getting up to write again, I finished the first draft. It's still a little on the short side, but it's still the longest thing I've ever written, by far, certainly the longest thing I've ever completed, and now I'm just sort of looking at it like, "So...what do I do now?" Wringing another one out in another month would probably kill me. As it is, I'm left so completely brainspent I can't even process my RP obligations, and have forgotten to make posts for two days running.

But, yeah. I wrote a novel. Go me. *collapses*

1. Today, out of the blue, my dad asked me what they should do with my computer in, God forbid, the event of my untimely demise. He seemed shocked and dismayed and like he thought I was crazy when I said, "Throw it in a hole." I think he was thinking I have the next Great American Novel on here or something. Unfortunately, what I actually have on here is approximately four unfinished YA novels and that oh-god-what-was-I-thinking thing where Olympic medalists are werewolves and have sex.

The Olympic werewolf porn was definitely a factor in my 'throw it in a hole' decision.

2. Our stove died a couple of days ago. Life without a stove is annoying as hell, and we're in a limbo of, "Can they fix it or not?" My mother has just about written it off, but keeps also putting off going to buy a new one, and I'm, like, running out of microwaveable meal options here.

3. While the stove is gone, I took the opportunity to tile their backsplash like they've been meaning to do for over a year. Except the stuff the people at Home Depot sold me as soooo much easier (it's like super-industrial double-stick tape, basically, you slap it on the wall, stick the tile to it, and then you grout) did not work out at all. It sticks to the wall, all right--if I messed up positioning it and tried to move it I was likely to rip off a chunk of drywall. What it does not do is stick to tile. The whole damn job fell off the wall overnight. So, since we can't get the stuff off the wall, we're going to try mortaring over it. This may be a disaster.

4. I thought I had more. Oh, well. I haven't posted in forever, so I'm going to do so anyway.