Church Arsonists Arrested
Mar. 8th, 2006 11:11 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
sadlikeknivesOne of them is TR's cousin S's boyfriend.
YEAH.
Nice girl. Crappy taste in guys.
As you might imagine, there's a whole lot of freaking out going on around here. Moron Boyfriend (Matthew) called her yesterday and CONFESSED ALL because he knew the feds were closing in, which means she's going to have to testify in federal court. The feds questioned her this afternoon. She's freaking out. Moron Boyfriend broke up with her right after they burned the FIRST church, because he figured they would get caught and he wanted to keep her out of it, so she's in this sort of 'Romeo and Juliet' "Oh, he was trying to protect me! He loves me! We'll get through this!" mindset we're having trouble breaking her out of. Pointing out that he confessed to her and now she has to testify in FEDERAL COURT isn't helping.
S has dropped out of school for the rest of the semester (and may transfer, because public feeling on her campus right now is Not Good) and is going home to Mobile as soon as she's sure the feds are done asking her questions for now.
What happened as far as we know: The morons were out deer hunting and drinking and, somehow (no one's really clear on this part), a church got burned down. Here is where the REAL idiocy kicks in. They decided to burn more churches to cover their tracks. Eight more churches. All Baptist churches (though S claims they somehow didn't know they were all Baptist churches). They were eventually tracked down thanks to the custom tires on Moron Boyfriend's 4Runner. They are now looking at up to 45 years in jail and up to $500,000 dollars in fines apiece.
So, that's been my day. How about you?
YEAH.
Nice girl. Crappy taste in guys.
As you might imagine, there's a whole lot of freaking out going on around here. Moron Boyfriend (Matthew) called her yesterday and CONFESSED ALL because he knew the feds were closing in, which means she's going to have to testify in federal court. The feds questioned her this afternoon. She's freaking out. Moron Boyfriend broke up with her right after they burned the FIRST church, because he figured they would get caught and he wanted to keep her out of it, so she's in this sort of 'Romeo and Juliet' "Oh, he was trying to protect me! He loves me! We'll get through this!" mindset we're having trouble breaking her out of. Pointing out that he confessed to her and now she has to testify in FEDERAL COURT isn't helping.
S has dropped out of school for the rest of the semester (and may transfer, because public feeling on her campus right now is Not Good) and is going home to Mobile as soon as she's sure the feds are done asking her questions for now.
What happened as far as we know: The morons were out deer hunting and drinking and, somehow (no one's really clear on this part), a church got burned down. Here is where the REAL idiocy kicks in. They decided to burn more churches to cover their tracks. Eight more churches. All Baptist churches (though S claims they somehow didn't know they were all Baptist churches). They were eventually tracked down thanks to the custom tires on Moron Boyfriend's 4Runner. They are now looking at up to 45 years in jail and up to $500,000 dollars in fines apiece.
So, that's been my day. How about you?
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2006-03-09 05:52 am (UTC)UM.
no subject
Date: 2006-03-09 06:08 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-03-09 06:48 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-03-09 12:34 pm (UTC)That, and: OMGWTF. WHO BURNS DOWN MORE CHURCHES TO COVER THEIR TRAIL?
no subject
Date: 2006-03-09 12:56 pm (UTC)I really hope they're all atheists, because, damn. Doesn't this land them in the Special Hell?
no subject
Date: 2006-03-09 01:48 pm (UTC)You know, this doesn't help our campaign to make the rest of the country stop looking at us LIKE WE ARE REALLY FUCKING STUPID. Perhaps I'm sheltered, but I'm not even following how deer hunting (Holy cliche, Batman) and drunkenness in any way equals church burning!
Plus, how do you grow up in ALABAMA and not have a special sensitivety to church burning?
Damn, Vamp, we're going to have a hell of a lunch...on Tuesday? Would that work for you?
Ahem. I was also horrified for a second your friend dropped out in May. Then I was more horrified that she still has feelings for the CHURCH BURNER.
no subject
Date: 2006-03-09 02:05 pm (UTC)I don't think S can really be accused of anything resembling rational thought at this point, bless her. She has some vague sad notion that he's going to get off because 'They didn't mean it!' which I have no idea how to counter. I just...I...GOD. I have a pretty high shit factor, you know, or I wouldn't have survived my last two years of high school. BUT CHURCH BURNING-BOYFRIEND IS OUTSIDE OF MY ABILITY TO DEAL WITH.
...OH MY GOD, ALLIE, THEY MADE JON STEWART'S OPENING MONOLOGUE.
no subject
Date: 2006-03-09 02:06 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-03-09 04:46 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-03-09 04:45 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-03-09 05:48 pm (UTC)Moron Boyfriend puked in TR's car once. I guess that's like her claim to fame now.
no subject
Date: 2006-03-09 05:55 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-03-09 05:56 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-03-09 05:57 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-03-09 05:59 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-03-09 06:41 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-03-09 07:54 pm (UTC)Damn. That's a special brand of stupidity there.
no subject
Date: 2006-03-10 08:59 pm (UTC)I WAS JUST ABOUT TO POST THIS!! Hee. I LOVE that it was the expensive custom tires that gave him away.
no subject
Date: 2006-03-10 09:02 pm (UTC)piss off the fedsthrow the feds off our track? BURNING DOWN MORE CHURCHES!" *sigh*In totally unrelated news, the cheese biscuits were delicious. Due to low party attendance, I'm having the last of the leftovers for lunch right now.
no subject
Date: 2006-03-10 09:15 pm (UTC)Damn those lame party people. We need to throw a big LJ Oscar bash next year.
no subject
Date: 2006-03-10 03:03 am (UTC)