From Beneath Me, They Devour

[sadlikeknives]

An update to BuggiesGate 2006. The Orkin man and one of the management company's maintenance men came out today and looked at my termite holes and said, "Yep, you're utterly infested," and then tried to convince me that this was not in any way a big deal, they'll only swarm a few more times this year. There was a whole spiel about how the management company was trying to look out for my best interests and they were going to take care of this problem for me and somehow it segued into, "They've eaten the studs and the termites and the mud they bring in are keeping your walls up, so it's best if we just leave them because if we kill them they'll be gone and the mud will crumble and you'll be screwed," and that this was somehow also not a big deal.

These are the two facts I held onto from all the stuff they said.

1. My home will be invaded by a plague of winged termites a couple of more times this year. And then next year this will happen a few more times.
2. TERMITES AND TERMITE MUD ARE THE ONLY THINGS KEEPING MY WALLS UP.

The second one, I feel, is the really important one, but the first cannot be discounted.

I figured out what's going on. They can't do anything as long as I'm living here, because they're going to have to rip the walls out because TERMITES and TERMITE MUD are the ONLY THINGS KEEPING THEM UP. And they really want me to stay as long as possible, so they can put off doing that. So they're trying to snow me, little ditzy girl living all alone, the big men'll tell her what's what and she'll buy it.

I AIN'T THAT STUPID.

Also, I have really bad allergies, and TERMITES and TERMITE MUD all up in my walls are probably not at all good for those and may explain why I've had a low-level sinus infection for about three months now.

So I checked. I can get out of my lease for this. Which I am. I just have to find a place to live first. Preferably one that takes cats or that I can sneak cats into.

Dammit. I liked this apartment, and I like this neighborhood. But I am not staying here now.

Comments

[delurker.livejournal.com]

Good grief! Best of luck finding somewhere else that you like.

[boodilly.livejournal.com]

Good luck with everything. Be careful if you have wooden furniture. Hopefully the termites are still having fun in the walls and won't be moving on to your bed just yet.

[nancydrew01.livejournal.com]

No, you can't. RUN!!!

[vampychick.livejournal.com]

OMG, Allie, the Orkin guy was like, "This is just a part of life in the South, y'know, these termite swarms," and I was like, "Do you hear this accent? I've lived here all my life. I'VE NEVER HAD A PLAGUE OF TERMITES IN MY LIVING ROOM BEFORE."

I am getting out. Of. Here. My dad has this bright idea that we could buy a house on the cheap and then rent it out for a few years after I graduate before we sell it, which I actually am kind of warming to. At least then if the place falls down around my ears from termites it'll be my own damn fault.

[nancydrew01.livejournal.com]

Damn, my whole life I've only dealt with termites ONCE. When we bought a house in Florida, they found termites in the lattice underneath the porch. Pulled off the latice (AND BURNED IT), and the rest of the house was checked every six months for a couple of years. A house constructed of TERMITE MUD is certainly not the norm.

I think that's a good idea about getting a house, especially with the cats.

[vampychick.livejournal.com]

This is like a nightmare. Some guy from another pest control company just came and poked holes in my windowsill with a stick. Like, it's soft and pulpy because the termites ate it all.

[nancydrew01.livejournal.com]

I had to go take a shower after I read that. That's....GET OUT. Jesus Christ, I'll come help you pack if you stock up on stuff to defumigate our clothes with. That's so beyond the realm of acceptable living conditions...

[jasminelily.livejournal.com]

EW. EW EW EWWWWWWWWWWW. Dude, I can't believe they tried to convince you to stay!

[keenai.livejournal.com]

Can you go home until you find a place?

[vampychick.livejournal.com]

Yes and no. I can stay at home for about three weeks, but then I have summer classes. Which, I could commute to? But my parents live over an hour away and yeesh.

[keenai.livejournal.com]

You must update us as soon as you find a place!

And since everybody is moving out because of end of the yearness, I am guessing it will not be hard!

[vampychick.livejournal.com]

Unfortunately, due to the...unique nature of the Tuscaloosa housing market, you are quite possibly wrong about that. Everyone gets their housing arrangements for fall taken care of before they leave town in the spring, so most places are already leased. My complex has a waiting list, but then, most people don't know it's being held up by termite mud at this point.

I could sublease, but then I'd have to find another place to live in August.

[keenai.livejournal.com]

Son of a whore.