Obfuscation

[sadlikeknives]

Being a phone conversation between myself and TR:

TR: Hello?
Me: Hey, I totally found your Christmas present, but there's a problem.
TR: Is it in China? Because Cat could pick it up on her way back...
Me: Ha. No. It's that I know you and I know you'll buy it for yourself before Christmas, so, um, don't do that.
TR: Okay, sure. Wait. What is it?
Me: I can't tell you that. That's half the point of Christmas presents.
TR: You want me to not buy it.
Me: Obviously.
TR: But you won't tell me what it is so I can not buy it.
Me: Um...yeah.
TR: Sometimes I worry about you.
Me: Yeah, me too.
TR: So, basically, what you're saying is, I'm not allowed to buy myself anything for the next two months because it might be this thing you're giving me for Christmas.
Me: Yeah, that about sums it up.
TR: Works for me. I'm broke anyway.
Me: Wait. I have to make sure you haven't bought it already. So I need to come over someday and go through your stuff.
TR: ...I really worry about you sometimes. Come on over tomorrow afternoon.
Me: If I start swearing, you'll know you already own it and I have to find a new present.