You'd Think The Suitcase Had Candy In It
Jan. 5th, 2005 08:56 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
sadlikeknivesPlot A. First, there is Kate up a tree, and it is meh. Then she throws a rock at Sawyer, and I am angry at her, because Sawyer is hot. Then, Kate and Sawyer find a spring and get semi-nude, and I forgive her, because now Sawyer isn't wearing a shirt and OMGHOT. And then there are DEAD PEOPLE IN THE WATER and AAAAGH. And, to shamelessly quote ![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
cleolinda's recaps, "AAAAHH YOU GOT YOUR DEATH IN MY T&A!" "AAAAHH YOU GOT YOUR T&A IN MY FINAL RESTING PLACE!"
And then they raid the corpses, and Sawyer helps Kate get this suitcase. But see, this isn't any old suitcase. This is the BEST SUITCASE EVAROMG. It is shiny and silver. And also locked, and they ain't got no key, yo. But still. Sawyer wants the suitcase! Kate wants the suitcase! Later, they will wrestle suggestively over the suitcase!
This suitcase is so special! Sawyer cannot pick its lock, and he can pick any lock! Mercutio will fly Sawyer to LA on his back if Sawyer can pick the suitcase's lock! Being dropped out of a tree onto rocks from like a frillion feet up barely even dents the suitcase!
Seriously, if you ever need a shiny, silver, locking suitcase, this is the one you want to get.
Kate enlists Jack's help to open the suitcase, because it's Marshall Dead's suitcase (and suddenly so much becomes clear) and because it has GUNS IN IT OMG, so he agrees to help her dig up the body and get the key out of his pocket, but is all suspicious, because he is Jack and is an ass. Also, they discuss all of this in front of Sun. Idiots. And then he goes to get the suitcase from Sawyer, and his bargaining tool is that if Sawyer doesn't give him the suitcase, he will let Sawyer die a slow, painful infected death. Or cut his arm off. Because Jack is an ass, not to mention like, the worst doctor ever.
And they open the suitcase and Jack is still an ass to Kate. See, it turns out that Kate was a bank robber, except not really, because she was just in it to get this toy airplane out of a safety deposit box (OMG airplane!). And the toy airplane...belonged to the man she loved.
Jack doesn't believe her.
No, really, the toy airplane belonged to the man she loved.
Jack doesn't believe her, because Jack is an ass.
She's telling the truth! The toy airplane...belonged to the man she killed.
And Jack storms off, leaving Kate a sobbing mess clutching her toy airplane. Ass.
Plot B. Boone and Shannon snark at each other (they are SO fucking), and Shannon gets in a shot about Locke being Boone's boyfriend. The way Boone reacts makes me think there's some truth in it (not Locke, but the 'boyfriend' concept in general), but then I am a rabid slasher. And Boone tells Shannon she's useless, and storms off into the jungle with Locke, because Boone is an ass.
But then, like, OMG, Sayid needs help with the one thing Shannon can do: speaking French. The papers he stole from Crazy Rousseau have French notations on them, and Shannon is the only person who speaks French. And Sayid is all nice to Shannon, and now I want to ship them. Can I, Mommy?
Eventually, Shannon remembers that the notes are song lyrics--specifically from a song at the end of Finding Nemo, only they don't say Finding Nemo because hello, copyright laws. Which brings up the question of how Crazy Rousseau got a copy of Finding Nemo, or whatever. Maybe it's an old song. I don't know, and honestly don't much care. And she sings the song to Sayid, and now I really want to ship them.
Plot C. Charlie is still sulking/mourning Claire (do we know if she's actually like, gone for good?). Rose makes him help her move stuff, because the tide is rising like crazy and washing away all their stuff, so they're moving to a new camp down the beach (where invariably the tide will start rising and washing away their stuff right about...now). They talk about stuff, Charlie cries, and then Rose prays. And that's about it with that.
Next week: OMG SHANNON!
This week's episode of Lost was brought to you buy the makers of That Damned Silver Suitcase. Who may have been Halliburton. I dunno. Does Halliburton make suitcases?
cleolinda's recaps, "AAAAHH YOU GOT YOUR DEATH IN MY T&A!" "AAAAHH YOU GOT YOUR T&A IN MY FINAL RESTING PLACE!"And then they raid the corpses, and Sawyer helps Kate get this suitcase. But see, this isn't any old suitcase. This is the BEST SUITCASE EVAROMG. It is shiny and silver. And also locked, and they ain't got no key, yo. But still. Sawyer wants the suitcase! Kate wants the suitcase! Later, they will wrestle suggestively over the suitcase!
This suitcase is so special! Sawyer cannot pick its lock, and he can pick any lock! Mercutio will fly Sawyer to LA on his back if Sawyer can pick the suitcase's lock! Being dropped out of a tree onto rocks from like a frillion feet up barely even dents the suitcase!
Seriously, if you ever need a shiny, silver, locking suitcase, this is the one you want to get.
Kate enlists Jack's help to open the suitcase, because it's Marshall Dead's suitcase (and suddenly so much becomes clear) and because it has GUNS IN IT OMG, so he agrees to help her dig up the body and get the key out of his pocket, but is all suspicious, because he is Jack and is an ass. Also, they discuss all of this in front of Sun. Idiots. And then he goes to get the suitcase from Sawyer, and his bargaining tool is that if Sawyer doesn't give him the suitcase, he will let Sawyer die a slow, painful infected death. Or cut his arm off. Because Jack is an ass, not to mention like, the worst doctor ever.
And they open the suitcase and Jack is still an ass to Kate. See, it turns out that Kate was a bank robber, except not really, because she was just in it to get this toy airplane out of a safety deposit box (OMG airplane!). And the toy airplane...belonged to the man she loved.
Jack doesn't believe her.
No, really, the toy airplane belonged to the man she loved.
Jack doesn't believe her, because Jack is an ass.
She's telling the truth! The toy airplane...belonged to the man she killed.
And Jack storms off, leaving Kate a sobbing mess clutching her toy airplane. Ass.
Plot B. Boone and Shannon snark at each other (they are SO fucking), and Shannon gets in a shot about Locke being Boone's boyfriend. The way Boone reacts makes me think there's some truth in it (not Locke, but the 'boyfriend' concept in general), but then I am a rabid slasher. And Boone tells Shannon she's useless, and storms off into the jungle with Locke, because Boone is an ass.
But then, like, OMG, Sayid needs help with the one thing Shannon can do: speaking French. The papers he stole from Crazy Rousseau have French notations on them, and Shannon is the only person who speaks French. And Sayid is all nice to Shannon, and now I want to ship them. Can I, Mommy?
Eventually, Shannon remembers that the notes are song lyrics--specifically from a song at the end of Finding Nemo, only they don't say Finding Nemo because hello, copyright laws. Which brings up the question of how Crazy Rousseau got a copy of Finding Nemo, or whatever. Maybe it's an old song. I don't know, and honestly don't much care. And she sings the song to Sayid, and now I really want to ship them.
Plot C. Charlie is still sulking/mourning Claire (do we know if she's actually like, gone for good?). Rose makes him help her move stuff, because the tide is rising like crazy and washing away all their stuff, so they're moving to a new camp down the beach (where invariably the tide will start rising and washing away their stuff right about...now). They talk about stuff, Charlie cries, and then Rose prays. And that's about it with that.
Next week: OMG SHANNON!
This week's episode of Lost was brought to you buy the makers of That Damned Silver Suitcase. Who may have been Halliburton. I dunno. Does Halliburton make suitcases?
