They're Baaaaack!
Mar. 13th, 2005 11:03 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
sadlikeknivesYes, ladies and gentlemen, it's the not-so-very-long awaited return of the mercenary accountants! Now with 100% more beta-reader! Like "Not At Fault", this was written for ![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
celli's Taxfic challenge and a CW assignment. This one was a list of ten actions in sequence and then write a story from them. I used my original outline up until ten, when I couldn't resist the desire to put, "Just then, he was hit by a truck."
Installment three will be coming as soon as I get around to writing it, if anyone's interested. Mad props toteleute12 for betaing, and to cosmorific for helping me pick a last name for one character.
Title: Investigation
Rating: Again PG-13 for the word 'fuck.'
Summary: "The Accounting Division reserves the right to initiate an investigation of their clients' accounts at any time and take the appropriate steps when needed." An adventure of the mercenary accountants. The Accounting Division begins their probe into the incident described in "Not At Fault".
Emme Reinhardt, senior accountant for the Interplanetary Mercenaries and Assassins Guild, pressed a glass of ice to her temple, listening to the soothing chink and imagining scotch. She could really use a smoke right now, but any sort of flame had been banned from the Accounting Division after Kaleena Maxwell turned her paper files into a bonfire in a stress-induced breakdown during the Andromeda rush. “No, sir,” she said patiently. “The Guild is not an employer, it is a professional organization. Our members are self-employed, as Mr. Valcourt’s tax returns should show. I–” she glanced up to find the playboy of the division leaning in the entrance to her cubicle, smirking. “I’ll have to get back to you. Goodbye.” She hung up the phone.
“Can I help you?” she asked Chris Ellis.
The tall blond said, “Problems?”
“Andres Valcourt is being audited on Melion 2. Their tax code is just ridiculous. Not to mention their bureaucrats. It’s not at all well set up for mercs. Worse for bounty hunters, since their income’s spotty.”
“And Valcourt’s a bounty hunter.”
“Mostly. He did a spot of merc work this year, which is what is making this nasty. That and the fact that they can’t wrap their heads around the ‘self-employed’ concept. I need a drink and a smoke, and neither one is going to be happening any time soon. Now, what are you doing here? Don’t you have other people to annoy? Or work to do?”
Chris sobered immediately, the wicked grin practically wiped off his face. “The report came back.”
“You’re going to have to be a little more specific, Ellis. I’m waiting on about ten reports right now, from the new way they’re calculating accrual on Vega 6 to forensics on that guy who died in Loren’s cubicle last week.”
“Yes.”
“Yes? Yes, what?”
“Yes, the last one.”
“You’ve got the forensics report?”
He held up a manila folder. “Right here.”
She took a piece of ice from the glass and sucked on it thoughtfully. “Have a seat.” He did so. “What does it say?”
“Victim was Jorge Vargas, thirty-two, registered mercenary. Citizen of the Andromeda system. One of Loren Gannon’s case files. Where is he, anyway?”
She frowned at him, waved the glass in his direction. The ice clinked, but in the face of Chris’s stall tactics, it failed to soothe her. “Took his allowed two days off after the Andromeda rush was over. You’re stalling.”
“You’re not going to like it.”
“Just tell me.”
He hesitated.
“Chris, don’t make me break out the stunner.”
“He was poisoned.”
Emme blinked at him several times. Set the glass down, closed her eyes. “Poisoned.”
“Yes, poisoned. Some new compound. Just recently approved for assassination.”
“What the hell do you mean, he was poisoned?” she screeched.
“Poisoned, Emme, poisoned.” He sighed. People in other cubicles were starting to look at them. Swearing wasn’t exactly uncommon in the accounting division–especially not from Emme–but poisoning was. “Simple verb.”
“Who poisoned him?” She blinked hard. “Wait, did Loren poison him?”
“Doubtful. Apparently he was poisoned during lunch, and it just waited to kick in until during his appointment.”
She was starting to turn purple. “Oh, no. Oh, fuck, no. They do not bring their dirty work into my division.” Then she fell silent, and Chris waited as Emme’s eyes went cold and still. Somebody was going to regret the day they’d taken this contract.
He leaned over and picked up a pen, tapping it against his left hand as he watched her carefully. “So, you want me to pull the assassins’ accounts?”
“Yeah.”
He nodded. “This would’ve cost a lot.”
"They don’t usually go after their own,” she mused.
“They do if the money’s good enough.”
"Mm." Her phone rang again, and she eyed its display warily. “It’s them.”
“Them?”
“The damned Melioni. Go on, get out of here and start pulling those files.”
Chris ducked back out of the cubicle and headed toward Records to start doing as Emme had said. He nodded to a few people who weren’t horribly busy as he passed. Maybe he could recruit Yomiko to help him with the review–he hated to call it an audit. And then maybe he could ask her to have dinner with him.
Just then, he was hit by a truck.
“Ow! Motherfucker!”
“I’m so sorry, Mr. Ellis,” Allie McKinnon said in a rush. “Ohmigod, are you okay?” The hand truck had hit him hard at ankle height, the file cabinet she was transporting falling against his hip.
“Yeah, I’m all right. Just bruised. Watch where you’re going next time, all right?” He ignored the fact that he hadn’t been watching where he was going, either, in favor of making eyes at Yomiko Inoue. Who was now snickering at him. Great.
In an appropriately foul mood, he limped toward the Records room.
So, um, yeah, that's all for now. Feedback would be adored.
celli's Taxfic challenge and a CW assignment. This one was a list of ten actions in sequence and then write a story from them. I used my original outline up until ten, when I couldn't resist the desire to put, "Just then, he was hit by a truck."Installment three will be coming as soon as I get around to writing it, if anyone's interested. Mad props to
teleute12 for betaing, and to cosmorific for helping me pick a last name for one character.Title: Investigation
Rating: Again PG-13 for the word 'fuck.'
Summary: "The Accounting Division reserves the right to initiate an investigation of their clients' accounts at any time and take the appropriate steps when needed." An adventure of the mercenary accountants. The Accounting Division begins their probe into the incident described in "Not At Fault".
Emme Reinhardt, senior accountant for the Interplanetary Mercenaries and Assassins Guild, pressed a glass of ice to her temple, listening to the soothing chink and imagining scotch. She could really use a smoke right now, but any sort of flame had been banned from the Accounting Division after Kaleena Maxwell turned her paper files into a bonfire in a stress-induced breakdown during the Andromeda rush. “No, sir,” she said patiently. “The Guild is not an employer, it is a professional organization. Our members are self-employed, as Mr. Valcourt’s tax returns should show. I–” she glanced up to find the playboy of the division leaning in the entrance to her cubicle, smirking. “I’ll have to get back to you. Goodbye.” She hung up the phone.
“Can I help you?” she asked Chris Ellis.
The tall blond said, “Problems?”
“Andres Valcourt is being audited on Melion 2. Their tax code is just ridiculous. Not to mention their bureaucrats. It’s not at all well set up for mercs. Worse for bounty hunters, since their income’s spotty.”
“And Valcourt’s a bounty hunter.”
“Mostly. He did a spot of merc work this year, which is what is making this nasty. That and the fact that they can’t wrap their heads around the ‘self-employed’ concept. I need a drink and a smoke, and neither one is going to be happening any time soon. Now, what are you doing here? Don’t you have other people to annoy? Or work to do?”
Chris sobered immediately, the wicked grin practically wiped off his face. “The report came back.”
“You’re going to have to be a little more specific, Ellis. I’m waiting on about ten reports right now, from the new way they’re calculating accrual on Vega 6 to forensics on that guy who died in Loren’s cubicle last week.”
“Yes.”
“Yes? Yes, what?”
“Yes, the last one.”
“You’ve got the forensics report?”
He held up a manila folder. “Right here.”
She took a piece of ice from the glass and sucked on it thoughtfully. “Have a seat.” He did so. “What does it say?”
“Victim was Jorge Vargas, thirty-two, registered mercenary. Citizen of the Andromeda system. One of Loren Gannon’s case files. Where is he, anyway?”
She frowned at him, waved the glass in his direction. The ice clinked, but in the face of Chris’s stall tactics, it failed to soothe her. “Took his allowed two days off after the Andromeda rush was over. You’re stalling.”
“You’re not going to like it.”
“Just tell me.”
He hesitated.
“Chris, don’t make me break out the stunner.”
“He was poisoned.”
Emme blinked at him several times. Set the glass down, closed her eyes. “Poisoned.”
“Yes, poisoned. Some new compound. Just recently approved for assassination.”
“What the hell do you mean, he was poisoned?” she screeched.
“Poisoned, Emme, poisoned.” He sighed. People in other cubicles were starting to look at them. Swearing wasn’t exactly uncommon in the accounting division–especially not from Emme–but poisoning was. “Simple verb.”
“Who poisoned him?” She blinked hard. “Wait, did Loren poison him?”
“Doubtful. Apparently he was poisoned during lunch, and it just waited to kick in until during his appointment.”
She was starting to turn purple. “Oh, no. Oh, fuck, no. They do not bring their dirty work into my division.” Then she fell silent, and Chris waited as Emme’s eyes went cold and still. Somebody was going to regret the day they’d taken this contract.
He leaned over and picked up a pen, tapping it against his left hand as he watched her carefully. “So, you want me to pull the assassins’ accounts?”
“Yeah.”
He nodded. “This would’ve cost a lot.”
"They don’t usually go after their own,” she mused.
“They do if the money’s good enough.”
"Mm." Her phone rang again, and she eyed its display warily. “It’s them.”
“Them?”
“The damned Melioni. Go on, get out of here and start pulling those files.”
Chris ducked back out of the cubicle and headed toward Records to start doing as Emme had said. He nodded to a few people who weren’t horribly busy as he passed. Maybe he could recruit Yomiko to help him with the review–he hated to call it an audit. And then maybe he could ask her to have dinner with him.
Just then, he was hit by a truck.
“Ow! Motherfucker!”
“I’m so sorry, Mr. Ellis,” Allie McKinnon said in a rush. “Ohmigod, are you okay?” The hand truck had hit him hard at ankle height, the file cabinet she was transporting falling against his hip.
“Yeah, I’m all right. Just bruised. Watch where you’re going next time, all right?” He ignored the fact that he hadn’t been watching where he was going, either, in favor of making eyes at Yomiko Inoue. Who was now snickering at him. Great.
In an appropriately foul mood, he limped toward the Records room.
So, um, yeah, that's all for now. Feedback would be adored.
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2005-03-14 06:09 am (UTC)And the plot thickens. *g*
no subject
Date: 2005-03-14 06:43 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-03-14 06:26 am (UTC)I love Chris being run over by a truck, too. Very funny.
no subject
Date: 2005-03-14 06:45 am (UTC)Yes, of course! I couldn't just leave them hanging with a corpse in the hallway.
(And I'm definitely interested in more.)
Working on that. I have about three 'verses working at once now.
I love Chris being run over by a truck, too. Very funny.
I should never have written that into the outline, but I just couldn't resist.
Your icon is absolutely gorgeous, by the way. What's it from?
no subject
Date: 2005-03-14 06:57 am (UTC)Thanks!
What's it from?
It's from this picture by Ciruelo, an Argentinian artist living in the US who does the most amazing fantasy art. One of the 'Marfil' series. I have no idea who - or what - Marfil refers to, and web searches have turned up little of value. :( But they're so awesome, and in a way the story is right there in the picture.
Ciruelo also does amazing pictures of dragons. And of really cool female characters who aren't just decorative. I was lucky enough to go to one of his exhibitions and it was fantastic.
I've been reading your lj, and you have interesting posts, so I've friended you. Hope that's okay. :)
no subject
Date: 2005-03-14 07:05 am (UTC)Ack! Zee coding, she is Messed Up! I think Celli did...whatever that is, when she first listed "Not At Fault".
I've been reading your lj, and you have interesting posts, so I've friended you. Hope that's okay. :)
Of course it's okay. *friends back*
no subject
Date: 2005-03-22 04:45 pm (UTC)LOL! This is wonderful! I love how indignant Emme became at the idea of an assassination in her division!