I See Stupid People...
Dec. 2nd, 2004 03:07 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
sadlikeknivesThey're everywhere...they don't know they're dumb.
Remember how I said there was no way anyone could mistake the relationship between Alexander and Hephaistion? I hate being proven wrong.
I seem to have a fondness for script format these days. Hmm.
Scene: An Art History classroom, not far from here, earlier this afternoon. Several students are waiting for the class to begin. Behind our heroine sit three sorority girls, who we'll call S1, S2, and S3. Last night, S1 and S2 apparently went to see Alexander.
S3: So, how was it?
Vampy: *is listening with about half an ear because, Alexander*
S1: It was pretty good. Jared Leto's hot, but there was some weird kind of vibe going on with him and Colin Farrell. He seemed a little obsessed.
Vampy's Brain: ...omgwtf?
S2: Yeah, what was that all about? Were they like, cousins or something?
Vampy: Oh my GOD!
Most of the class: *turns, looks, decides it's not important and goes about their business*
S2: Do you know what was going on?
Vampy: Well, I'm kind of a geek. And lover of Hephaistion. So yes.
S1: Who?
Vampy: *sigh* Jared Leto.
All S's: Ohhhh.
Vampy: Jared Leto and Colin Farrell were in love. And Jared Leto was afraid he was going to lose Alexander to one of his many hangers-on or possibly Roxane, so, yeah, little possessive.
S3: But they're men!
Vampy: Yeah, well, things were different then.
S1: I thought he loved Rosario Dawson.
Vampy: No, she was a political decision. A rather sketchy political decision, but still.
S2: *the light is dawning* Oh. OH!
Vampy: Yes.
S2: *turns to S1* Remember, that thing about little Jared Leto and his thighs? (Vampy's Brain: !!!) And the ring? And how we couldn't figure out why he'd think Roxane wanted Jared Leto dead? It makes so much more sense if they were in love!
S1: Well, yeah, I guess, but then why didn't they kiss?
Vampy: *bitter* Because apparently American mainstream audiences aren't ready to see two men show real affection. But at least we got the Pausanias kiss.
S1: Who?
Vampy: The guy who killed Alexander's father? He was a former lover of Phillip's, who got raped by Attalus--that old guy Alexander was mad at in the banquet scene--and his men, and Phillip wouldn't give him justice 'cause it wasn't politically sound. So he killed him, which makes sense to me. Oh, and Bagoas.
S2: *suspiciously* Are you a history major?
Vampy. No. Just a geek.
S2: Oh. Okay, then.
Remember how I said there was no way anyone could mistake the relationship between Alexander and Hephaistion? I hate being proven wrong.
I seem to have a fondness for script format these days. Hmm.
Scene: An Art History classroom, not far from here, earlier this afternoon. Several students are waiting for the class to begin. Behind our heroine sit three sorority girls, who we'll call S1, S2, and S3. Last night, S1 and S2 apparently went to see Alexander.
S3: So, how was it?
Vampy: *is listening with about half an ear because, Alexander*
S1: It was pretty good. Jared Leto's hot, but there was some weird kind of vibe going on with him and Colin Farrell. He seemed a little obsessed.
Vampy's Brain: ...omgwtf?
S2: Yeah, what was that all about? Were they like, cousins or something?
Vampy: Oh my GOD!
Most of the class: *turns, looks, decides it's not important and goes about their business*
S2: Do you know what was going on?
Vampy: Well, I'm kind of a geek. And lover of Hephaistion. So yes.
S1: Who?
Vampy: *sigh* Jared Leto.
All S's: Ohhhh.
Vampy: Jared Leto and Colin Farrell were in love. And Jared Leto was afraid he was going to lose Alexander to one of his many hangers-on or possibly Roxane, so, yeah, little possessive.
S3: But they're men!
Vampy: Yeah, well, things were different then.
S1: I thought he loved Rosario Dawson.
Vampy: No, she was a political decision. A rather sketchy political decision, but still.
S2: *the light is dawning* Oh. OH!
Vampy: Yes.
S2: *turns to S1* Remember, that thing about little Jared Leto and his thighs? (Vampy's Brain: !!!) And the ring? And how we couldn't figure out why he'd think Roxane wanted Jared Leto dead? It makes so much more sense if they were in love!
S1: Well, yeah, I guess, but then why didn't they kiss?
Vampy: *bitter* Because apparently American mainstream audiences aren't ready to see two men show real affection. But at least we got the Pausanias kiss.
S1: Who?
Vampy: The guy who killed Alexander's father? He was a former lover of Phillip's, who got raped by Attalus--that old guy Alexander was mad at in the banquet scene--and his men, and Phillip wouldn't give him justice 'cause it wasn't politically sound. So he killed him, which makes sense to me. Oh, and Bagoas.
S2: *suspiciously* Are you a history major?
Vampy. No. Just a geek.
S2: Oh. Okay, then.
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
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Date: 2004-12-04 04:08 am (UTC)Hee! *joins you in the twelve-ness*
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Date: 2004-12-04 04:16 am (UTC)It's fun to be twelve!
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Date: 2004-12-04 04:18 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-12-04 04:20 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-12-04 04:29 am (UTC)Okay, by now this sundae is damn near inedible.
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Date: 2004-12-04 04:32 am (UTC)Dude, I wouldn't eat it.
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Date: 2004-12-04 04:47 am (UTC)Me either. This is getting hard - it's been ages since I was somewhere with a toppings counter.
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Date: 2004-12-04 04:57 am (UTC)*Yes, I stole that from you
**And an antacid on the side!
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Date: 2004-12-04 05:07 am (UTC)*This is getting insane.
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Date: 2004-12-04 05:09 am (UTC)At this point, I think the average cabbage has us beaten, at least in the common sense department.
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Date: 2004-12-04 05:15 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-12-04 05:17 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-12-04 05:18 am (UTC)